Week 2 Days

Move Through Your Shame and Share a Secret | Day 13

What if the decision to reveal all parts of yourself led to greater joy and less suffering?

There isn’t a single person on this planet who hasn’t kept a secret.

Some of these secrets feel small and harmless, and others are like a dead weight we carry around with us everywhere…even when we pretend otherwise. I know from firsthand experience that the secrets we keep in order to make ourselves look good fester like open wounds and only end up contributing to a greater overall sense of darkness, confusion, and fraudulence. We might believe that going into hiding will keep us tucked away from judgment, disapproval, and the court of public opinion. But when we hide, we sacrifice the love and acceptance of the one person who matters most: ourselves.

My community allows women to be courageous by releasing the hold that shame has on them and offering their stories from a place of deep awareness. In bringing our story to the light, we release its weight. In allowing ourselves to make sense of the story through our awareness of its impact on us, we open ourselves up to new alternatives regarding how we will choose to react to that story.


Think about a secret that you’ve been keeping and that brings up some fear and anxiety when you think of others finding out. It doesn’t have to be the biggest secret in your life, but it needs to have some charge around it. Consider why you are keeping this secret. What might it feel like to finally release it? Now, share your secret with someone you trust. Don’t spend time explaining or justifying your actions; just focus on speaking your secret and noticing what happens when you do. (NOTE: If your gut is saying that you simply aren’t ready to do it, trust yourself and don’t force it.) You can also release shame by taking ten minutes to write out your secret, including your feelings about it. Baby steps are better than no steps at all! When you’re done, be sure to refer back to your joy list and do something loving for yourself. This took a ton of courage! You rock!

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