Week 2 Days

Forgive Yourself | Day 14

What if self-forgiveness was the most important gift you could offer yourself?

Congratulations on getting through the week.

It is a huge accomplishment to dive into your mess and to be with the pain and bliss in equal parts. Whether you got through all of the exercises or only some of them, be very gentle with yourself. Sometimes, giving it your best shot simply means going at your own pace.

Whether you’ve taken on a dysfunctional behavior in order to gain control over a shitty situation that first cropped up in your early life, or you made some choices along the way that you’re not too proud of, just acknowledge that the messiness is what makes you who you are. Regrets are pointless when you take this broader perspective, which helps you to see that everything you love about yourself is intrinsically connected to the “mistakes” and hiccups along the way.

I’m not asking you to pretend everything is all good or to sprinkle love and light over the parts of your life that feel painful. In fact, I want you to give yourself free rein to admit the shittiness of any situation you are feeling your way through. In moving through your emotions, you become your own best advocate. Instead of letting your challenges shut you down or diminish your power, you can allow for whatever you have experienced.


Choose something in your life that you’ve found it hard to forgive yourself for. It might have to do with a relationship, with your job, or a regret you’ve been nursing for years. Let yourself feel whatever emotions are triggered by the gap between where you are and where you would like to be. Sit with the pain, discomfort, anger, and disappointment. Instead of stewing in shame or judging yourself, use the space below to journal about the wisdom you have gained from your life experiences. For example, perhaps “screwing up” a relationship from years ago has enabled you to cultivate deep personal connections and to appreciate people in your life more deeply.

After writing this down, close your eyes and put your hand over your heart in a loving way. Find a mirror and look deeply into your own eyes. It might be tempting to turn away, but don’t. If it’s hard to look at yourself, imagine that you are looking into the eyes of someone you deeply love. Let compassion wash over you. Let yourself see you through the eyes of someone who is infinitely loving, and who recognizes you in all your beautiful messiness. From this place, say the words, “You are divinely brilliant,” as many times as you want to. Notice whether it puts you at ease, or if you have trouble believing yourself. You may not feel the forgiveness immediately, but I promise that this simple gesture will have ripple effects.

Messy Brilliance Notes

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